Evaluation as a Communicator

     The individuals I choose to assess me were a colleague, of a little over a year, and a close friend, of four years.  I was very anxious to see if both individuals evaluated me the same and if not, how and in what area the difference was shown. 

     On the Communication Anxiety Inventory across the board my score was in the Mild category.  It was reassuring to know that I do not display, even though sometimes I may feel it, any feelings of nervousness or apprehension.  On the Verbal Aggressiveness Inventory I ranged from 61 to 68, the Moderate level.  However, it was good to know from others that I consider the facts when speaking and hold true to being respectful, considering their opinions and viewpoints.  When appraised on the Listening Styles Profile I was across the board rated as a people-oriented listener.  It was good to know that my compassion shows through my listening skills in both the formal and informal setting.  The surprise was that in the relaxed environment I displayed on the lower end of the mild for anxiety, yet and understandable for me, I was on the upper end of the mild level. 

     The insight gained this week is to continue to show compassion and respect for the person or persons you are speaking and listening to, regardless of the situation.  As an effective communicator, I need to be confident, clear, and well developed in my communication skills so that my message is received in the manner intended while also building relationships with my listeners. 

Communicating Differently?

     I do find myself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures.  I try to familiarize myself with the people or families that I will be conversing with so that I am knowledgeable about them so I will not insult them, understand the purpose of the discussion, and most importantly make them feel respected knowing that they can trust me.

     In speaking with my family members I am more relaxed and may use jargon based on our conversation, but this is certainly not the language I would use at work or with colleagues.   In all situations I am open to listen to others voice their opinions while also given the opportunity to share mine.  I immediately condone conversations that are destructive and degrade others.  At work and dealings with family members, I tend to be more formal in presentation yet approachable.  However, when I am working with children, I continue to be easy to talk to but also firm in my deliverance that is usually not needed with coworkers or parents. 

     Therefore, the strategies I think would be helpful with those I interact with are:

1.    To not be judgmental based on others opinions.  It is vital to understand that it is our own perceptions that limit our communication with others.  We need to open up our eyes and minds and be accepting of those unlike us and through this process we will all realize that we are more alike than different.

2.    To be sensitive to how others interpret what I am saying.  I need to keep in mind that culture has a big impact on how others use and interpret my language. William Gudykunst (2004) states that some cultures use language indirectly, being sensitive to situational factors, while others, are very direct.  This is very significant as I recently have added a child from Asia into my classroom, whom relies heavily on contextual cues to understand clearly what is sometimes being discussed with his peers.

3.    To continue to self reflect on areas that make you feel uncomfortable and learn from them.  Use the self-fulfilling prophecy, (I can do this, If I try harder I will succeed) and constructive feedback from others to get yourself through difficult situations.

References:

Gudykunst, W. (2004). Bridging Differences: Effective Intergroup Communication (4^th ed.). Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE.

Television Episode-Communication

     As I watched an episode of My Wife and Kids, this week I was fascinated at how much one can tell without hearing any spoken words.  Initially as I observed the show, without sound, I immediately was drawn to the facial expressions, with some being strongly exaggerated, and how they conveyed messages of a loving, close and intimate family.  There were instances when emotion was shown through touches on the arm, pats, and even embraces.  It was obvious through my silent observation that this family is affectionate and makes every effort to demonstrate these feelings.

     Through the verbal examination I now was able to understand better the exaggerated facial expressions based on the words spoken, which included a high pitch from the mom causing the father to respond with a dumbfounded look.  There was a time when the mom was on the phone, deep in conversation when the children were speaking to her about a serious matter.  Her responses were shocking and unpredicted to all which caused the father to ask an outlandish question knowing he would get the answer he wanted because of the lack of attention.  As I viewed this, I visualized myself in that same position, knowing that I too had done this at home with my children and also at school.  Multitasking is a hard job and regardless of age or experience, our brain is limited to process only one thing at a time (Wallis, 2006). 

     I feel my assumptions would have been correct if I was watching a show I knew well, due to the delivery of the characters through their gestures, facial expressions, and the reaction of those receiving the message.  My “aha” moment was that much is spoken through interactive nonverbal communication and that interpretation of your message is immense.  We mush acknowledge that how we are delivering our message sometimes means more than what we are saying.

    

References:

O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M. (2009). Real Communication: An Introduction. Boston, MA: Bedford/St. Martin's

Competent Communicator

     As I considered the question of someone who demonstrates competent communication skills, I immediately thought of Oprah Winfrey.  She exudes sincerity, frankness, and realism when she speaks to an audience of many or one on one interviews.  As I watched her shows, and even tuned into her life before and during the taping of her shows, I was mesmerized at how easy she made talking to people on any subjects appear effortless, and one of my reasons for choosing Speech Communication as a major in college.

     Some of the behaviors shown by Oprah are her ability to pay attention to everything others are saying, and to offer comments based on specific details, not just her opinions or emotions.  While empathizing with her listeners, she gets others to view ideas without offending but making you deliberate on what was stated.  She has a way of helping you uncovering what is important to and for you, as well as those in your presence.

     I definitely would want to model some of my own communication behaviors after Oprah as she finds common ground with all those she addresses while being sincere, and tactful, yet always leaving you with something to contemplate.