What I Have Learned

    

     My hope for working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds is for my family, friends, and colleagues to grasp the importance of being more mindful of others around them, especially those who are unlike themselves.  Everything from the way we speak to our nonverbal gestures can make all the difference in how we or others are perceived.  If we want children to like themselves and value diversity, we must learn how to help them resist the biases and prejudices that are still far too common in our society.  Therefore, it is essential that we help young children build strong self-identities by teaching them to resist bias, and to value the differences between people as much as the similarities.

               

     The one goal I have for the early childhood field related to diversity, equity, and social justice is for all educators to look beyond the curriculum and use the world’s issues within the classroom.  These are the very things that our children are dealing with daily.  It is important for all students to be acknowledged and be aware that their circumstance does not make them; it is how they will use their experiences to become a better person while helping those around them.

     Classmates, I cannot believe that we are one again at the end of yet another fruitful course.  I am truly THANKFUL for everyone’s thoughts, insights, and words of intelligence.  Please know that it would have been difficult to make it through without your opinions, which urged me on weekly.  I again, look forward to seeing you in the upcoming courses (as I am always so pleased to see an old name- who needs faces)!  Take care and know that you all are blessed!!

Terri

Creating Art

I am who I am

Even though I do not look like you

We have the same traits

If you would only look beyond my hue

We are both intelligent creatures

Who learn differently

But it is only our identity

That causes disturbances significantly

The teachers won’t integrate their classes

Keeping the dominate culture developed

Reaching their full potential

While the majority are being set aside and labeled

We must educate the media to keep sexism out

As many are unseen in movies, commercials, and books

The persona dolls helps in providing a diversified look

Our hidden messages should be realized and faced

In order to witness other perspectives

We have to personify our identities

And learn through our ongoing self reflections

Why can’t we just let children be?

And teach them to the best of their ability

Engage, mentor, and inspire them

Isn’t that what makes a wholesome society

The nation's children are growing up in a nation and a world that is increasingly becoming more diverse.  Therefore, it is the educators who must prepare the students to understand how to interact and be sensitive to the collection of varied cultures  that they will encounter and impact them and their families.  We must constantly ask ourselves are we doing our part in making sure that all of the children we service are being met?

Terri M. Moore

"We Don't Say Those Words in Public"

     I can recall a time recently when my family and I were in the mall and I decided to stop at the makeup counter of a department store.  I was asking questions on a specific brand when I overheard a daughter (who was around 5 years old) asking her mom if the salesperson was a lady or man.  The mom ignored her mom initially, which only caused the child to continue on with the gender questioning of the salesperson.  Finally, at the persistent of the child, the mom angrily responded to the child that, “the “man” was there to help customers and should or could not be interrupted by blabbering children”.  The mother quickly walked away, tugging the child along, as she was clearly embarrassed by her child’s comment.

     The message being communicated to the child through this interaction was that it was not okay to question or try to retrieve answers based on their curiosity.  The child may have felt that it was not okay to talk openly, or at all, about differences that they witness daily causing them to possible have an internalized bias against people unlike those they are related to or familiar with.

     This would have been the perfect time for the parent to use this as a teachable moment, stayed calm and responded to the question without making a big deal of it.  Based on the physical features of the salesperson it was unclear as to the gender, so I certainly can identify with a child being doubtful.  Being that the mom did not want to address this in the store, I surely hope she attended to the inquisitiveness of her daughter in private as she openly discussed her uneasiness and feelings towards the subject while also finding an appropriate way and time to answer any and all questions.  Eric Hoffman (2010), a contributing writer, suggested that we adhere to the following guidelines when responding to children’s curiosity:

·         Listen, stay calm, and don’t make assumptions about the child

·         Listen for their feelings behind their words (is it just curiosity or discomfort).

·         Figure out exactly what the child wants to know and answer it by responding  matter-of-factly

·         Follow up either by conversation or activities

References:

Derman-Sparks, L., Edwards, J., Hoffman, E., (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: NAEYC.

Gender, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation

Prejudice against gays and lesbians are not something that is tackled in the classroom or on the curriculum.  Therefore some of the ways that I have noticed that homophobia and heterosexism permeate the world of young children in all that they see daily is that there is no or little mention or reference to either in books at school, movies for the younger age group, educational setting or stores they visit.  By age two, toddlers are beginning to notice and comment on gender differences and have assigned their playmates labels (girl, boy) (Ramsey 2004).  Everything in our culture is gender related, with girls being cultivated and boys geared toward enhancing their natural abilities.  All children are curious and want to know about the world surrounding them, and gay and lesbian individuals are a part of their world and often daily life, yet we steer clear of the subject because of our personal feelings.  The books we read to them do not include couples of the same sex, through play most teachers discourage boys to take on any roles such as washing dishes, playing nurse, or feeding the baby.  These are all roles that most fathers perform, yet we deter our young boys to participate in this learning experience.  Children and families are continuing to transform and society must work towards being understanding and accepting of all.

     Currently in my school there are no books or movies in the media center related to one’s homophobia.  And when I asked several colleagues if they addressed this within their curriculum they wholeheartedly stated absolutely not.  We must be willing to expand and explore our limited knowledge in order to create a non-homophobic atmosphere that meets the needs of all (lesbian, gay, bisexual, educators, parents and their children).  We can start by incorporating stories and pictures of families that represent differences in families and having an open discussion on the similarities and differences.  If there is a family within your classroom that you area aware of as same-sex, invite them to come out and speak of their lifestyle while encouraging everyone to be nonjudgmental and open-minded, even if they do not agree with their choice.  As stated in the Gender video this week, we need many different opinions to see the many different views outside of our own

     Earlier this week my son, who is ten, and I were watching the opening ceremony of the President’s Dinner Party for the Ambassador of Camden.  Individuals and their wives, husbands, and significant others were being introduced.  As we watched this, my son started to ask why the same-sex couples were holding hands and shared the same name.  Were they indeed married?  I took this opportunity to share with him that in some states, marriage of the same-sex is legal and that love is a beautiful event no matter the difference in gender, color, race, or age.  He later responded that some of the married men and women looked unhappy and not really wanting to be there as opposed to the same-sex couples who appeared to be truly thrilled to be with their partner.

References:

Laureate Education, 2011. Start seeing diversity: sexual orientation

Ramsey, P. 1991. Young children’s awareness and understanding of social  class differences. Journal of Genetic Psychology

Thank You

     WOW, I cannot believe that eight weeks have passed and we are once again nearing the end of yet another learning experience.  This journey through Communicating and Collaborating has been inspiring and stimulating in that it has taught me to consider carefully the role I am partaking when speaking with children, parents, colleagues, friends and those dearest to me.  I considered myself to be very observant and a conscious communicator, but now I also pay attention with my eyes in addition to my ears.

     To all that are reading this, please know that your kind words and support guided me through these weeks and it was with your partnership that made this class effortless and sometimes stress-free. Not only have you taught me a lot, but I have also learned from you.  So with all of this being said know that you are appreciated and I could not have come this far without you.  It has been a pleasure working with all of you and I hope we can stay in touch (my personal email is terrim64@yahoo.com). I wish you all success in the future and am thankful that you have made this learning experience lively, exciting, and successful.

BEST OF LUCK TO YOU ALL!!

Stages of Team Development

     In my experience in working within several groups, the hardest for me to part with are high performing groups.  This is because I feel that we all communicated our needs, formed interdependent partnerships while also building self-confidence and all of this resulted in us developing professionally and as individuals.  My recent group experiences have formed primary groups, long lasting groups that form around the relationships that mean the most to their members, which have been asked to come together at other times to work on other specific programs or celebrations.  Abudi (2010) suggest that it is critical to for a team leader to make time to ensure that the team celebrates their successes and capture best practices for future use.  The teams I have recently been on have done just that, we met, took note of what was effective and exactly what needed to be modified or removed all together. 

     I imagine adjourning from my colleagues by communicating regularly (through their personal blog or email) as to the status of their career.  It is through these contacts that I will obtain information as to how the courses we have taken have benefited them and to attain advice on future courses, endeavors, and life in general.  This for me will be the hardest part of our program as we all have bonded and feel a sense of security with each other.  Undoubtedly we have come to know each other and have connected emotionally by meeting the needs (emotionally and psychologically) of each other.  It is essential it that it allows us to revel in our experience and accomplishments while also forming and maintaining friendships to those we may not have met on our own.

References:

Abudi, G. (2010). The Five Stages of Team Development: A Case Study. Retrieved from http://www.projectsmart.co.uk/the-five-stages-of-team-development-a-case-study.html

O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., (2009). Real Communication: An Introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Disagreements or Conflicts

     Unfortunately, for this assignment, I did not have any disagreements or conflicts this week.  However, I did experience a conflict of ideas between two colleagues regarding the policies and procedures for use of funds for an organization within the school.  One coworker, co-chair of the committee, questioned the validity of set policies and was adamant about why these policies had to remain and could not be amended.  As I listened to this dispute, there was obvious discord on the co-chair’s part.  She was very aggressive in her tone, body language, and use of words towards the person whom was being questioned. 

     What I witnessed was clearly managed unproductively based on her inaccurate perceptions, by one of the parties.  However, the funds advisor remained composed and did not falter by clarifying the facts behind the specific policies and that these rules were not set by our school but by the district, which showed her willingness to foster a healthy discussion which in turn will help everyone on the committee understand and use this knowledge to make better decisions regarding future expenditure.  The strategies which might have helped this situation would have been the use of retreating to the balcony and considering all that has been stated by listening, understanding, and acknowledging what has been said and to address only the specific concerns.  It is always good to consider and offer alternatives while also reassuring the other party of your intent to resolve the issue.

     As I spoke with other individuals involved in the meeting, they were all taken aback by the assertiveness of the co-chair and stated that they have learned to be more effective when involved in conflicts by giving the speaker the opportunity to voice their concern and actively listening, without interrupting or prejudging.  Most agreed that they stop and think of the school and the interest of all parties (not just their personal points of views) before responding, while also stating facts that support their answer.  They all agreed that not all conflicts are made to win, but most try to do their best by getting to the heart of the conflict and working towards an amicable compromise.